HOPEFUL when I started high school
JOYFUL knowing me and my brother would be able to have lunch together now
CONFUSED when they stuck worms in my hair
SAD when my brother was nothing but watching
FRUSTRATED because I didn’t know what to do
SMALL when they laughed at me for it
RELIEVED when I got home without spit or worms in my hair, without having my face pushed into the mud, or bruises from being kicked into walls and tables
SAD when my mother took the side of the other kids who were mean to me, because she didn’t want to ’cause rumors in the village’.
FRUSTRATED because as she closed the door she hugged me saying “Sometimes we have to admit fault even if it wasn’t us. I KNOW it wasn’t you…I know they’re mean”
PUZZLED when I fell asleep everywhere for no reason
SHAMEFUL because my mum thought I was up playing video games all night.
STRONG when she finally took me to the doctor and they found out what was wrong with me.
CONTENT when I thought I could use that as an excuse to stop them from bullying me.
GUILTY because they still kicked me in the hallways and I thought I shouldn’t be here
PATIENT when years later I could finally say goodbye to that school
CAREFREE when my friend and I shared a bottle of Vodka on graduation day
HUNGOVER when I woke up the next day.
PRESSURED when I was the only one who didn’t know what to study
ANNOYED when I was told to ‘get on with it’ because ‘people like us’ don’t have the luxury of choosing a career we like
LUCKY when I decided to go to the UK as an au pair after missing University applications
INDEPENDENT when I decided to stay in the UK.
GROSS when I moved into my first shared house that was so filthy the only clean spot, was where the shower water hit the bathtub.
LUCKY when I got a 9-5 job that paid me 19k a year – it was more than I’ve ever had
PROUD when I got promoted.
AMBIVALENT when I didn’t get a pay rise for it.
HAPPY when I moved to an even better position elsewhere.
RICH when I earned my first 2.5 k/month paycheck.
ACCOMPLISHED when I overachieved my quota all the time.
FRUSTRATED because my boss told me I had no talents.
LIVID when she added I shouldn’t be so happy around the team. It ‘distracts them from their work’
HOPELESS when I sat in my bathtub crying because I didn’t know what to do.
DETERMINED when I made a pact with myself that I WILL start a business and work for myself and help others.
LOST when business idea 276 didn’t pay off. AGAIN.
HURT when they rolled their eyes at me when I told them about my next business idea
RESENTFUL because they always told me to try.
EUPHORIC when I finally found what I was good at.
SILLY when I realized I’ve been doing this my entire life.
BRAVE when I bought my domain and officially opened up shop.
ANXIOUS when I revealed my new plans to my partner and told him “I’m going to tell you something, and I’m going to need you to NOT find a solution or make me think of what could go wrong”
WORRIED when he did as I asked because the silence and suspense were killing me.
LOVED when I had this off my chest and he said: “If anyone can, it’s you.”
CONFUSED when years later I still didn’t have paying clients + was stuck in a job that others seemed happy about
DISHEARTENED when I read blogs and books from people I admired who did what I desired. Who did things. Went places. Made an impact. And when I didn’t seem to know how they did it
FOOLISH when I realized I spent 10k over the year to grow my business, and nothing changed.
LONELY when they said “Maybe you should just get a job again”
ARROGANT when I told them I WILL make it!
FAKE when I repeated positive affirmations and felt like a failure regardless
INTIMIDATED when I realized I helped my clients have 5 figure months while I struggled to pay rent.
HOPEFUL when I met her and she told me “we can’t perform brain surgery ourselves” and that’s okay.
DETERMINED when I learned from her
ASTONISHED when I made more sales
PROUD when I received messaged saying “HOLY SH*T. I just had my first 15.5k day! THANK YOU!”
HAPPY when I realize that I’m a girl who comes from the poorest part in Germany. Where the only option is to get pregnant and live on benefits or move away. And chose NOT to take that option.
GRATEFUL that I didn’t give in when they doubted me. (Or I doubted myself)
DETERMINED that I defied the odds of “We’re not meant to be rich” and I get to show that shit hot money isn’t a privilege given to a select few, but a destination we chose to go on.
That our origins don’t define the path and that it involved ALL the feels.
Let’s open this space to know each other better. Tell me something that I don’t about you in the comments.
